Wisdom Nuggets Before you Marry her

P

Patrick Togun

Member
As a young man, before you marry any girl, pay close attention to the family she comes from. If her mother is always the spokesperson and the public relations officer (PRO) of the family, it's a red flag. Open your eyes—run o! 😅
 
I have often postulated that men should learn to test their relationships and friendships

One of the biggest mistakes many men make in relationships is that they allow their desire for a woman to make them lose their sense of judgment

A man meets a beautiful woman

He likes her

He wants her attention

He wants sex

And suddenly, he is promising the world😂

Rent, he will pay

Bills, he will handle them

Sharwama and ice cream she usually will not buy for herself, he will buy

Phone credit qnd data, he will buy

Even business, he will fund it (business with no aim of growth and profit ooh)🤣🤣🤣

He even attempts to solve all her family problems

All because he wants to keep the relationship

My brother, calm down😂

No be relationship you dey build again ooh

You are simply negotiating from a place of weakness

This is why I believe every man should learn to test the relationships he enters

One of the simplest tests is money

Tell the woman from the beginning that you are not entering the relationship to become her financial burden bearer

Tell her you will support her when you genuinely choose to and have, but her financial responsibilities remain hers and father

Then watch what happens

Not because a woman should never receive anything from a man ooh

Not because a man should be stingy ooh

But because you need to know whether she loves you, or loves what she can extract from you

A woman who genuinely values you will not suddenly become a different person because you have established financial boundaries

And I have seen this personally

I have said this to women I have dated, including some who are probably reading this today

Interestingly, many of the women I have TRULY dated became some of the best human beings I ever known

My friends sometimes say I have been very lucky with relationships

I really don’t think it is luck

I think it is straightforwardness and hard truth telling

I don’t create false expectations

I don’t promise what I cannot sustain

And I don’t use money to purchase affection, i made that mistake only one time and it backfired 🤣🤣🤣

This is where I think many men get themselves into trouble

They are constantly simping

They cannot control their libido

They are terrified of losing a woman

So they keep giving, giving, giving, while the woman keeps taking, taking, and taking

Eventually, resentment enters the relationship

And the man begins to say, women are wicked🤣🤣🤣

Sometimes, you simply taught someone that your weakness has a price

And she discovered that you were willing to pay it

There is a concept I recently came across called the Gender Predation Paradigm

The idea, simplified, is that when people’s natural strengths are not governed by character and responsibility, those strengths can become tools of exploitation

A man’s weakness may be his uncontrolled desire

A woman’s weakness may be using attention, beauty or intimacy as leverage - something most Naija women do

Different weapons, same problem, leading to exploitation

So my advice to my men is simple, learn to control your desires, learn to say NO

Learn to establish boundaries

Learn to walk away

And most importantly, stop trying to buy what should be freely given in a healthy relationship

The right woman will not need you to destroy yourself financially before she can respect you

And the right man should not need to use money to keep a woman who does not genuinely value him or want to stay

Don’t let your desire for someone become the reason they gain control over you

That’s not love, that’s leverage!!

Selah
 
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