This thing called honour.
Let me share a true story with you.
Last year or early this year, I saw a notice for an event of a young man in my city. I was not invited and as a rule of thumb, I only go where I am invited but for reasons I cannot place, it was impressed on my spirit to go there and support him with my presence. I struggled for a bit but finally gave in.
I got to the venue, the ushers recognized me upon arrival and movements began to happen to get me a place to seat. They finally got me a place to seat right beside the convener. I took my seat. He acted totally oblivious of my presence, leaned in towards him to exchange pleasantries and he acted like no one was there. Later he looked in my direction half mindedly and gave me a nod and continued looking at the stage.
I got the memo. You do not matter here.
I think I gave it another ten minutes and headed out of the venue.
I made a resolve. I will never be at his event again and if I have to, he will follow my total order of protocol and pay my fee in full. Because sometimes, people like the strain of protocol to enforce honour and value.
Around the Christian community, the concept of honour in the most recent time, is such a big conversation.
I am honestly elated at the drive, the current wave of awareness on all frontiers pushing people to the consciousness of the place of honour.
But there is a blind spot.
Honour is taught only upwards only and honour being taught upwards only is a by product of Power distance, Religious misinterpretation and Social incentives
If you only honour people upwards; if you only honour people who are above you, you are a sycophant. Upward-only honour is not honour. It is strategy disguised as virtue.
A true heart that understands honour, understands that honour must be upwards, downward and peer to peer.
True honour is the accurate recognition of value, independent of position.
There has to be honour for those below or behind you. A place of honour for their giftings, their craft, their ingenuity and ultimately their genius. The idea here is that you are humble enough to see their future, not just present position.
I have learnt from my mentor, principal and Pastor, Lanre Oluseye and it is ever so humbling.
There has to be peer to peer honour. This is honouring those who are your equals. Your friends, classmates, colleagues at the same level as yourself, those within your age bracket and this is not about them being ahead of you. It is about seeing them, recognizing them, respecting them specially and celebrating their humanity and ingenuity.
Most people cannot genuinely honour peers because comparison is still alive in them.
Lastly, there is honour upwards. Honoring those ahead of us. Those who influence us. Those who challenge us. Those who become our cover and whatever else they mean to you.
If and when you can honour across all three grades, you have to be careful of motive.
What is your motive for honour?
Some people honour upwards for access.
Some honour peers for validation
Some honour downwards for control or ego
This will bring us to a question in many hearts which we have refused to ask publicly. Is your honour transactional or is it intrinsic?
The call today from me to you is, step out of sycophancy, step out of transactional honour and begin to step into the place of full and total honour for the people in our lives.
Share this or tag someone who needs to see this.
Let me share a true story with you.
Last year or early this year, I saw a notice for an event of a young man in my city. I was not invited and as a rule of thumb, I only go where I am invited but for reasons I cannot place, it was impressed on my spirit to go there and support him with my presence. I struggled for a bit but finally gave in.
I got to the venue, the ushers recognized me upon arrival and movements began to happen to get me a place to seat. They finally got me a place to seat right beside the convener. I took my seat. He acted totally oblivious of my presence, leaned in towards him to exchange pleasantries and he acted like no one was there. Later he looked in my direction half mindedly and gave me a nod and continued looking at the stage.
I got the memo. You do not matter here.
I think I gave it another ten minutes and headed out of the venue.
I made a resolve. I will never be at his event again and if I have to, he will follow my total order of protocol and pay my fee in full. Because sometimes, people like the strain of protocol to enforce honour and value.
Around the Christian community, the concept of honour in the most recent time, is such a big conversation.
I am honestly elated at the drive, the current wave of awareness on all frontiers pushing people to the consciousness of the place of honour.
But there is a blind spot.
Honour is taught only upwards only and honour being taught upwards only is a by product of Power distance, Religious misinterpretation and Social incentives
If you only honour people upwards; if you only honour people who are above you, you are a sycophant. Upward-only honour is not honour. It is strategy disguised as virtue.
A true heart that understands honour, understands that honour must be upwards, downward and peer to peer.
True honour is the accurate recognition of value, independent of position.
There has to be honour for those below or behind you. A place of honour for their giftings, their craft, their ingenuity and ultimately their genius. The idea here is that you are humble enough to see their future, not just present position.
I have learnt from my mentor, principal and Pastor, Lanre Oluseye and it is ever so humbling.
There has to be peer to peer honour. This is honouring those who are your equals. Your friends, classmates, colleagues at the same level as yourself, those within your age bracket and this is not about them being ahead of you. It is about seeing them, recognizing them, respecting them specially and celebrating their humanity and ingenuity.
Most people cannot genuinely honour peers because comparison is still alive in them.
Lastly, there is honour upwards. Honoring those ahead of us. Those who influence us. Those who challenge us. Those who become our cover and whatever else they mean to you.
If and when you can honour across all three grades, you have to be careful of motive.
What is your motive for honour?
Some people honour upwards for access.
Some honour peers for validation
Some honour downwards for control or ego
This will bring us to a question in many hearts which we have refused to ask publicly. Is your honour transactional or is it intrinsic?
The call today from me to you is, step out of sycophancy, step out of transactional honour and begin to step into the place of full and total honour for the people in our lives.
Share this or tag someone who needs to see this.